livingasmagnus
my way of telling stories
my way of telling stories
Anxiaty...
Have never been this lost without feeling OK with it. Its a familiar feeling to me, being lost. Have felt it my whole life and been OK with it. But not today, and not the last week. Feeling anxiaty about leaving this place and these people. It feels very definitive this time.
Hmmm, maybe I'm getting old and fear loosing out or not being able to make it.
I'm sitting on the floor of an half empty room. The half that is empty is mine and the half that is here isn't.. So it'll stay. (getting old seems to be a reflection I'm making often these days.. maybe I'm finally starting to feel it).
I was going to leave for Porters today, and then tonight.. and then tomorrow. Hopefully it'll happen then. Or I might end up not going at all...
Were did my strength go?
Lost and powerless.. not a good combination!
Well emotions I guess you can call it. Emotions for people that you'd like to have around you most of the time and that you won't have.
Emotions are good and I specially, need to feel them fully. Or we all do! But some people are OK with feeling them just a little. Not me. Bring 'em on! Full power and ALL of them at the same time. The harder the better! But this time I wasn't as strong standing. I fell!
Falling is good though. You learn to pick yourself up. Or not. Still to find that one out this time.
Now its time for some dinner with my Kiwi family.
And then in the morning, OFF for new adventures again.
Peace Love and Strenth to You all.. and if you have some over, maybe send some my way!?
And BTW, Felicia, THX for the t-shirt! It IS strenght at the moment!
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